THE LITE NEWS VOLUME I

Ever wonder what the mainstream Canadian press would ‘like’ to print? Here are some headlines we might see:

“Tornadoes Touch Down Last Night in Ontario, Conservative Party Blamed”

“Violent Storms Lash Canada, Liberal Member’s ‘No Strike’ Bill Prevents Unnecessary Lightning Deaths’

“Oil Prices Stay Past $55.00 A Barrel, Conservatives The Cause”

“Poll Says Canadians Want Government To Run Everything”

“Paul Martin Cures Cancer”

“Specialist Testifies That Liberals Only Stole Sponsorship Money Because Of Unfair Pressure Applied By Tories”

“Supreme Court Rules Conservatism Unconstitutional, Bans Free Thinking”

and lastly,

“Most Heart Attacks Traced Back To Stephen Harper.”

Boy, do I feel better. Have a great day.