AREN’T YOU GLAD FOR PROGRESS?

Aren’t you glad for progress? I mean, there is nothing worse than time standing still, for the world to be unchanging. When I think back on life, what little of it that has so far passed me by, I can’t help but think of how awful things used to be.

Remember when we were kids? We couldn’t sit on the couch for days with a joystick in our hands. We had to go outside and get exercise! That’s right. There we were, playing tag with the whole neighborhood. You haven’t played jailbreak until you’re in a game with 30 other kids. It was horrible. And then there were the long days. You were expected to play outside in the fresh air from sun up, till sundown, all because there was a real justice system, people had morals, and the world was so much safer. Good thing it has gone to pot, now we don’t have to go outside.

There was that horrible shopping experience. If you ran out of something on a Sunday, you were out of luck, because everything was closed. You had to, get this, plan ahead. It was awful. Not to mention the ‘family dinners.’ Yep, no one worked on Sundays, so you actually had to sit down and talk with your parents. I am surprised that we ever made it through. Of course, you were also expected to sit down and play games together or watch The World of Disney at 6 o’clock, because there was always a quality family movie on then. Glad those are gone.

Calculators and computers were in their infancy, so we actually had to do like, math stuff in our head. Really. We were expected to know the answer to something without using a machine. How archaic is that? Today it’s much better. Nobody really has to know anything because the machine even tells you what to give back as change. Even when the machine is wrong, no one can calculate the error anyway. Everyone today is much happier.

The dating scene was brutal. You were expected to get married, or at least go out for a while before spending some intimate time with your partner. Brutal. You have no idea how hard it was to show some self-respect and control. It just wasn’t fair, not to mention how much time was wasted getting to know someone. Back then you were limited way too much because you could only choose someone of the opposite sex. Talk about reducing your options.

Medical advances hadn’t come as far, so one actually had to deal with consequences. You had to be careful with the choices you made, because the results were earth shaking. Now we have a pill for everything, so we no longer have to cope with that personal responsibility burden.

Youth were treated like barbarians. They weren’t allowed to do what they wanted, they had to listen to their parents, they were spanked, and had to follow rules. They even had to take responsibility for their criminal acts. Can you imagine! I am glad that we are so enlightened now.

School was just horrendous. The teachers were allowed to force you to listen, could discipline you, and could actually point out your shortcomings. Nice way to make you feel awful. They were allowed to shame you, but now our parents stick up for us. They even failed some kids. Can you believe that you were expected to study for tests so you could reach the unimaginable mark of 70%? Boy, they were mean back then.

We have it made today, don’t we?

Come to think about it, the next time the media warns that a political party wants to roll the clock back 50 years, I’m going to vote for them. Here’s hoping.